Saving Ilkar
by Reinamarie Seregon
Summary: Originally in charge of Fates with the use of sands, a guardian J could not bear the demise of a noble elf mage and his endangered race. Breaking the rules, she steps in to put an end to their suffering, facing consequences. Then she sees a connection between her past lives...
1. The Cure to Elfsorrow

**Saving Ilkar- The cure to Elfsorrow **(revised)

_Ilkar didn't perish from the Elfsorrow that had killed too many of his people already and was going to sacrifice himself. Fate had been so cruel in that world in which their God was disfigured? Come on the elves didn't make that happen, invaders did! (the old world with the concept of Po Persia! )Using the **Sands of time**, a kind Observer changed the course of the events, having pity on the situation._

_Kaze no stigma soundtrack: Destiny in my arms, blowing into my heart. Though the wind may oppose my fate, I will fight! _

* * *

Ilkar's coughs wracked his body. Blood stained the grass where he fell from the sky but fortunately not too high up where he had been looking out for enemies. Ren hurried to his side. Hirad also called out his name. Ilkar managed to catch his breath and leaned against his mate.

Oh gods, the elfsorrow had spread to him too! Hirad couldn't believe it. Yet the symptoms were the same, sunken eyes, painful coughs, sweat drenched pale skin. "Ilkar don't die on us." Ren implored, cradling his head. Some blood was on his mouth.

He smiled. "I won't." As a word of consolation, the others thought of it as food poisoning. The mercenary were One unit, they did not let morale drop! They wouldn't let morale drop.

Denser and the others were still seized by fear and dread though. Ren supported him to lie down for awhile. The Unknown called for them to make camp. Numbly Rebraal and Hirad pitched a tent. Ilkar slipped into darkness and oblivion.

Rebraal paled. _Yniss, don't take him. I haven't had enough time, and I was so cruel to reject my brother when he returned to our land! _He knelt beside the sick elf, who was at rest. At Rebraal's touch of his damp brow, Ilkar came back to the wracking reality. He was disoriented for a moment_ "I am sorry. We will not fail. I am sorry for everything."_ Reb spilled out in elven. The leader of the temple guardians sobbed, pressing his chin on the elf and holding him tightly. Feebly Ilkar reached out to stroke his long hair.

Outside Hirad paced restlessly. They had yet to retrieve that missing piece. Now, his best friend was in there fighting for his life but he couldn't help him! It couldn't just be the superstition that the elves depended on a statue to live! Sure, religion was their life and tradition but this was a plague! From a barbarian's standpoint, disease was physical.

Exhaustion must have done it. Pursuing those bastards who vandalized their god's holy ground, damn it all!

* * *

High up in the Otherworld of Bliss, the gods were busy or detached from the life events happening on earth. An Observer took the vessel of the magical sand. She was charged with the task of ensuring that it would always be full. Observers were unable to speak or act on their freewill, only if the order was given by a major deity. Another term for them was the Nameless One.

The Gods were angry now. She had seen what happened on earth, those pointed eared beings who were elegant and pious falling prey to this sickness. They could see omnipotently with the crystal viewing pools throughout Bliss.

Behind her, Yniss, god of their people, sighed deeply. He looked handsome and extremely tall and took the form of a Fae with slanted eyes and pointed ears.

He did not want their race extinct. _Then, why was he allowing it to happen?_ The Observer trembled seeing one of the pools reflecting a pale young elf, hugged by his brother. He was one of the Good, offering aid and magic to the poor and desperate. She had always paid special attention to him with his group of heroes.

Forgetting her place she turned to that God and cried, "How can you let _him _die too? He is innocent!"

The other deities listened to her indignant outpourings. Ynis was not provoked by this outburst, instead he watched her with a stoic gaze. Apathetic, ruthless! Another minor god just said it was inevitable. After all people would perish and they suffered less on this plane of existence.

She shouted, "No! I won't accept this! I am going there right now!" Ima her best guru held her fast. She was shocked by the defiance in the nameless one's eyes. Only once many centuries ago had this youth been similar thus, when she used to be a man and saw his best friend and lover die.

Ima realized why. That person had been one of the fae, and his closest companion. "Let me go! I won't let another elf die. I can use this!" She gripped the vessel of sand.

The major god was in the gateway where she could jump into the dimension. He reprimanded that she was out of turn and would be imprisoned in isolation if she left this place. Did she not take the vow to stay here with the duty of silent keeping? Ima prostrated.

"Indeed the nameless one did, but can we all see that the danger is imminent? If Ilkar lives, he has the intelligence to strengthen alliances with those bandits and bring the cure to the peoples. I implore that the fates be altered! They are not prepared for this calamity yet. But Observer, it may mean you have to stay on earth in addition to protecting the sands from evil mages. Please reconsider this action."

She smiled and thanked them in advance for being kind to her. But it would haunt her eternity if Ilkar succumbed to the Elfsorrow too. Happy times are coming! Given a new identity Observer was dressed in that era's clothing and could use the sand. But once mission was complete, she had to leave the elves and continue the duties here.

_Jaren_, she intoned, her new name. As usual the briefing involved all the rules: the sand couldn't alter all of the history, too far back in time those who died would remain dead; not to reveal her true name and mission, this form she took on was transient and temporary. This meant that life could be taken anytime without immortality.

She was given a magical pouch for water (for food wasn't necessary in this form), a compass for teleporting and locating the waypoints and gateways of exit from places, translators and retained her own skill. Good! Finally rules were done and she leapt into the main doorway. First, she had to find the source of the plague. Pressing the top of the Sand vessel, Jaren went to the forests of the elves and the history. Where it all began! A male elf, middle aged stumbled , feeling dizzy and weak. He made his way back to the village, where his friends rushed out. According to the symptoms, the afflicted coughed till blood was produced, their organs decomposing from within. The translator encoded their talk into English. "Weak, ill. Must rest." He was the first one. Jaren glided behind the group as they brought him into his house.

She wanted to confirm one thing and used the Sand for that purpose, not to go there but to cast a net. The statue of Ynis was intact, nobody had entered it yet. Hence this Elfsorrow had began way before that happened! This group of elves were natives and their immunity was no match for the new virus. Why didn't they take precautions, still kissing and hugging the infected person? Some boiled soups and herbs to relieve the pain.

Jaren wanted to impress the importance of hygiene, washing hands after touching him and so on. But the first rule said she could not alter time this far back… Late night, Jaren snuck into the camp. She had to see what happened to him, and touched his forehead. Had he been bitten or come across something? The elf sighed and gave up the memory….. a spore, little brownish fluff had entered his nose when he stumbled upon a trap that had decomposed some creature. Jaren pulled on her gloves and caught a few of the buggers as samples.

Returning to the place, she was not with the patient but outside. The elves began pointing and shouting at her. Intruder! They were about to attack- and intercepting with her own dagger thrust, she rushed for the nearest teleporter. It was just within reach and Jaren laughed when the light flashed.

* * *

Limited time. Plague took just hours to surface and quickly broke down tissues spreading from chest to stomach. Some elves didn't have 4 days. These facts hammered home!

Twisting the compass, Jaren got herself to the Everlasting garden. Her friend Aleria was the Watcher of this sacred grove of endangered plants. The beautiful place used to be the Observer's key leisure spot, when all her duties were done. "Hello? Hello! Can you give me the antidote to this fungus?" she shouted.

Aleria knew everything, though she was not a goddess. She had experience with disease and plague. If anyone could help the elves, she could! The pale ghost figure wafted out chewing something. 'The Observer, once vowed to be silent, had retaliated and decided to become an active participant.' She turned around.

Jaren prostrated before Aleria and beseeched her for aid.

"Please! I won't let more of them suffer! My lover died once, and I don't even remember his name!" Jaren's eyes were wet, flashing back to that moment when he had collapsed and never awoke again. In grief, this spirit had committed a self-sin in order to seek out his soul in the afterlife. It didn't work, Aleria shook her head in pity. Somehow that lover's soul was lost.

Aleria searched amongst the herbs. But there was only one flower, pale small and fragile. Jaren's heart sank. It wasn't common enough to cultivate nor tough enough to be carried for long distances. There were so many who needed the antidote! "Can it be changed into an elixir? The elf I need to cure, he just got the sickness. Hurry!"

"As little as four days, to a week I know. And yes the elves think it is their god's vengeance or fallen out of favor. To my experience, the disease evolved from the bacteria itself." Her friend mused in a singsong voice. Jaren felt impatient.

Making it would take more time. Aleria explained, while the woman made a cutting motion. No she would go now! Her hand rested on the sand vessel. Ilkar, the name of the elf… both spirits thought at the same time, might he be the reincarnation of Jaren's lover?

When this one was well, people would ask questions. Aleria set to work on clones, samples she always kept.

"I know and understand the consequences. Goodbye now!" She dissipated into the clouds.

Ilkar tossed and turned. Every pain was intensified, every bone screamed. His coughing and breathing was pure flame. He gasped, not wanting to cry out or Hirad would worry. He and Ren were his closest friends. The mage had no regrets. He just could not see the restoration of the temple. Perhaps he had overstrained himself, not having enough rest before setting off each day. The fatigue had set in two days ago, but Ilkar did not mention it, or the Raven's morale and courage would flag.

Neither did he want them to panic. Turning, he saw movement. Yet his eyesight now could not be trusted. The illness affected all senses and balance. "Hirad?" he whispered.

The huge hand touched his chest. Ilkar smiled, while Hirad felt awful he couldn't do more to ease his agony. He leaned near to lay a damp cloth on his brow. "Ilks no one's dying on me."

The patient rested for a moment, and asked for a favour. The big guy supported him as gently as he could upright, but each movement still took effort. "It's too much. Lie down." Ilkar got over his bout of coughing, his slim hand laid on Hirad's and squeezed. He pointed to Ren. She had been crying these days. He was quite concerned for her welfare and health. Ren dried her tears and faked a weak smile. Hirad laid him down carefully. The elves held hands.

Jaren appeared in the tent. Ilkar was not here. Hearing their low voices, she looked at the figures outside. How could she walk amongst them and explain that she could see the events? That was a forbidden truth. Damn. Inside the cold packet was the flower that would save his life. It was now!

"Who is there?" Ren demanded, ears pricked. She eased away from her contented soulmate. Jaren had stepped on some twig. She ducked down.

The barbarian let her investigate. Ilkar asked for water. "All right. I'll be right back." Ren had one hand on her bow, ready to spring into action.

Jaren had two options: distraction or to freeze time. She had plenty of magic sand at her disposal, using it would be great. Distraction was not too bad, but that would wake more people, the entire camp. First option was better. Unfortunately the archer was still beside the sick elf. The sand must not spill on the intended party.

"Me," Jaren said gliding out from a tree. Ren nocked an arrow. "Wait, I am here to help. Don't scream. I'm not your enemy." The newcomer held up both hands empty.

Ren was about to cry out a warning, her blazing green eyes and open mouth. Jaren uncapped the sand and tossed it into her face. Short of the scream, blessed silence. A little more was enough to freeze the time _Stop the others- she commanded, waving at the barbarian too._

Why did she need to do that? Jaren didn't look threatening, not armed except a hidden dagger in her boot. Casually walking past the frozen characters, she strolled in to see the one she meant to save.

Ilkar had pushed himself up, his mage senses tingling. He coughed again, the world darkening. Instead of Hirad, a woman tipped the cup to his lips. She had purple eyes and dark long hair to the shoulders. "This is the cure, Ilkar. Chew it well." Jaren took out the flower from the pocket and placed it on his tongue. The elf did as told, questions flashing across his drawn face. Would it work? He breathed shallowly, laid on her lap.

First thing the elf uttered (when he caught his breath) was- "Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"I was… sent. I cannot say more. Does it relieve the pain?" Jaren evaded the subject.

He frowned but was not angry. It was astonishment. His hand grasped hers.

"At least let me thank you Emissary." Ilkar tried to inhale deeply, and it did not hurt. Neither did his chest and the aches were gone. His vision was perfect once more and gave him clear view of this kind stranger.

"Good. Wonderful!" she smiled.

He had more energy and sat up on his own. "Can the antidote save all my people? Please help us." He noticed Ren, unmoving. "Are they…."

"No I can reverse the magic. My presence here, must not be known. Secret." Jaren replied. The elf's hazel eyes were imploring and he still clasped her hand. How much Jaren wanted to stay, to make sure he was completely cured and pretend he was her lover! However there were important matters, she needed to contact Aleria again and badger her for more flowers. "I am J."

He smiled and bowed. She thought this was better than being in the Otherlife, the Gods were so boring and predictable. Emissary was quite a nice label. "Yes. More of the flowers will grow. That will stop the Elfsorrow."

Ilkar was tired again and had to lie down. The weakness of his body was normal, she was not too worried. "You are strange, but I don't fear. Not the enemy… I wonder if this is a dream and when I wake up it will be agony?" Pain was real.

"It won't!" she covered her mouth realizing it came out louder than intended. "Rest well. I have to go now. It is not because of the desecration, it's a virus." _Before my emotions become uncontrollable, though I am unwilling. _He stared mouth open. Jaren touched the Sand vessel. Now he had more time with his friends the Raven.

"Thank you, my lady J. What is that object?" he was curious. His voice was beautiful like a singer's. Mentally remembering it forever, everything about his youthful face. The color was returning to his cheeks and lips.

Jaren couldn't reveal that. "A secret I presume? Will you return?" Ilkar seemed wistful and sad.

"Don't tell them. You can see this trick." One finger to her lips. Jaren pressed upon the top of the vessel, scattering the sand to the surroundings. She faded into a golden light, as Ren and Hirad came out of the Freeze, concerned frantic and sad.

They made him lie down. "Ilks! Don't move, does it hurt?"

"Not at all. I have no more pain. Hirad, I think my arm will break." His friend laughed and let go. They took turns feeling his forehead and asking a million times. Ilkar knew they would think it was the last surge before death. As promised, he did not feel ill anymore. Rebraal was not his reserved self and clasped him tightly. They talked.

The moment arrived as his Raven asked what had cured him. Ilkar paused, taking them in especially his girlfriend and Hirad. The memory remained what happened. Finally he told them, "An angel came. I ate the antidote. But the most crucial thing is, there will be a cure. The Elfsorrow is a virus. It is not caused by the destruction." Murmuring amongst themselves, and the warriors did their prayers.

* * *

Hirad noticed his friend needed to walk slowly. He should not exert his strength so soon. Ilkar also seemed dreamy and less chatty. Ren tilted her head. "Hey you are keeping a secret. Are you planning to leave us?" She kissed him.

As they broke for lunch, he felt the burning gaze of everybody. Ilkar repeated, "Not at all. There is no pain, nor fever. I am very certain."

Rest well… the mysterious person had instructed. Instinctively, the elf took heart in her words that she would bring hope and salvation. That had been determination in those unique purple eyes. _Was she really an angel?_ Hirad handed him another meat slice. "I'll fatten you. Now you can eat more!" Everyone laughed. It loosened the tension. Even some Al Arynaar chuckled.

Rebraal still believed they had to recover the missing piece.

Jaren returned to Aleria. "I have cloned the flowers. You can lead them to the meadows for the taking." She gestured to a nursery.

"Even those with the late stages will be cured?" Jaren wondered. Ilkar was counting on this. There was no guarantee. Jaren wanted to protest at the unfairness of it all, but took in the refreshing sight of the white blossoms bobbing merrily. Alecia was going to cultivate them at the location. A map unfurled magically. Deep within, she smiled at the elf's sincerity. He wanted her to return. But a looming regret rose, she could not stay for long.

* * *

The location was in a meadow not too far, by the Gallas Lake. The bad thing was, once more she risked exposure. The teleporter got her among the elite. Rebraal looked like him but was menacing. Jaren managed to toss the sand to stop the action of most of them. But Rebraal pressed a knife to her neck. She held still. The distrust in his taut face prevented her from speaking.

"I know antidotes, medicine for the elfsorrow. Please, I have a map." Her fingers touched the pouch. He growled something in elven.

Unexpectedly the other voice cried out. "Stop brother! Do not hurt her." Ilkar! Jaren was surprised he had not been affected by the timefreeze. He was panting slightly as he came in.

Rebraal snapped. "An intruder! We don't know this is true." Ilkar sighed and gesturing he put down the blade.

"Brother calm down, I have seen her before. Look no weapons." He glanced at her. Jaren's eyes felt hot. He had come even though that moment had lasted a mere second. Rebraal hesitated. Ilkar bit his lip.

The other elf let go and shoved her aside. Jaren remained on her feet. He was doubtful of her intentions, but Ilkar went over it with a firm voice. Ilkar said she was a friend he met on a previous journey. Then he smiled at her. She showed them the map. Rebraal's sidelong glances were suspicious. Close to the mage, she felt confident. This moment must be cherished.

"It had better not be a trap. All right I trust your judgment little brother." He left them alone. It was funny how the warriors were stuck halfway taking out their things.

"Thank you. I may have died back there." The stranger said.

"My brother is rash. He wouldn't kill you. Sit down." The elf beckoned for her to sit down. It was a long time before he said something. "I am still wondering. When you came so suddenly, it was as if… Yniss himself had laid his hand. I was prepared for death. Many of us already faded. J, are you a mage?"

He did not explicitly refer to her magic. She wished she could answer honestly, she would give anything to. The temptation to forget about duty and loyalty to the Otherworld, but no. Jaren looked down for a moment. "Perhaps. I cannot talk about this. My mission is to help the elves fight this sickness. Because I don't like people suffering."

Could they not be friends? The elf posed this question, open. He talked briefly about his companions. Jaren nodded. No one had ever asked her that before. _I always had to keep a distance from those who would steal the precious entity for evil purposes. Or they wanted their own gain. _

How much it hurt that she had to leave this kind person. Ilkar's leaf pointed ears twitched. They were smaller than the old texts portrayed. Finally she agreed though there was some secret within. He was puzzled. "It is very strange the sand did not affect me. Why didn't you choose another person to save J?"

Because she had seen his potential and it was very unjust to watch him writh from pain he did not ask for. "I can keep secrets my friend. I enjoy contact with many people, unlike the Al Arynaar's strict and conservative thinking."

Jaren blinked, he sounded blunt and different from those elves. His hand lingered on the space between them, so she touched and felt his pulse beat strongly. He was all healed, though fatigued from action. He might have died, but now that crisis was past. "Ilkar I noticed you and know that everyone will have a great future. To be honest, I am not sure why. I- once lost a loved, dear one."

The elf emanated sympathy. He was never alone for too long. The poor lady, he clasped her hand. She sighed, stroking the strange oval vessel of the golden sand. Reluctantly, J prepared to cast the magic to reverse its effect. "Stop. It's dark out. Do not leave me hungry for answers. I am rather (he paused) lonely with the battles and people asking me questions." Ilkar peeked outside the tent.

"What questions?"

He made a face. "Ilkar how's the body doing? Don't die on me. I've repeated millions of times that I am well. You won't do that I hope." He rolled his eyes.

Jaren stayed. She did not talk much, listening to him. Eventually he asked impatiently, why she couldn't trust him. "I- cannot. It really frustrates me, that rule."

"Do you want to?" it was the first time the calm elf raised his voice. "People have choices. It is not too late, though I don't understand your situation completely." Long hair partially concealed his face. He marveled that everyone was still alive, yet they were very unmoving bundles. Those who were almost getting up were posing in their attack weapons. He smiled wryly. Opposite, J's heart was wrenched, she knew about his true loves- Ren and another woman.

How could she get between them? "What if people misunderstand?"

"Hey I meant as a friend, not wife. An elf is forever grateful to his saviour and angel. It is innate. I'm also called Ilks." He walked close to study her profile, pale brows in a curious frown. J's intense happiness overwhelmed her.

"Yes. I want to be friends. All these kind, Raven people mentioned." She hurriedly changed the words 'you most of all' to his companions. "But I have little choice in that decision." She could not help a wet trickle. It isn't fair! I have to be detached from the race I admire most!

He sat beside her in silence again, to allow her to calm down. Jaren was about to say something more when he interrupted, "Will this cure be permanent? Does the plague relapse?" She answered neutrally, grateful for not having the personal touch.

"It is a permanent cure. Do not worry."

Departure was inevitable, they had warned her. Those high and mighty Powers that only watched but could not act. _At least I acted! Soon I have to go back to the Sacred time vault and continue the isolation. Ha I was rude to the Major god. _All these didn't matter suddenly.

The mage would be a faraway friend and he will forget me given time.

He smiled. "I wanted to add that your magic is formidable. It's no attack spell I've seen, just to cause sleep." She laughed at his odd humor. "What, don't think of it as a joke. I am serious."

That made her helpless in tears. J did not expect an elf to have such jokes, for they were ancient and quite traditional in mindset. Ilkar was so unique. J did tell him things that were all right, she liked animals and her life was boring. At first light, Jaren retrieved the vial from her right hip and sighed. The elf had a poignant sad look. "Leaving huh? I hope in future, I will get to see you again. My angel, maybe secrets can be open till then."

Jaren shook his hand firmly and reversed the process. These words were stored in her heart and mind. Ilkar did not blink and waved, one finger to his lips.

* * *

"You have done well. But you have to serve a sentence of isolation." Boss God boomed.

"Can I say something? I would like to serve this redemption on Earth. Specifically in the elf forests." This tone was not a request but a decision.  
His face darkened immediately. Other gods murmured. "What? No permission not granted. You will get attached to the mortals."

Observer looked up calmly. "I choose to. Free will is mine and I want to go. I do not mind guarding the sand, but elven lives are at stake. I can balance both duties."

That was enough to make her descend to Earth. Oh, but she had her things! Looking at the reflection, Observer had different features. Only her purple eyes remained the same.

The portal dropped Jaren in Ysundeneth, a place the Raven convened. They were travelling. This was years later, after the wars. Where was that elf? She saw Rebraal, his brother. Nobody recognized her at all. Would Ilkar know me? I want to say I accept his friendship now.

A sole consolation would be she could know him all over again.

"Excuse me. Where are the Raven?" she addressed one woman with a sickle. The lady pointed. Many looked similar, men and women with long dark hair. Jaren looked carefully. Nope.

She almost gave up when further down the path, she heard voices. One male stood apart, talking animatedly. His shift was short sleeved and lavender. Jaren beamed and called, "Hello Ilkar!"

In that instant, he gazed at her. They were the same height. This moment seemed to be a still life portrait. All voices were unimportant and faded into the background. "You look well. Everything going fine?" She continued, her voice shaking from exuberance.

His lips tipped in a quiet little smile. Ilkar liked the spunk of this woman. "Thanks. How did you know my name?" He hit the mark as usual.

"Once we spoke, when you were gravely ill. I could tell no one else." Dropping hints would be fine, not against the rules. Ilkar's features did not react with the light of recognition. "Never mind, it's all right. I will go now. Sorry." She turned away, deflated.

Then Jaren was held in place by an invisible shield. A wall?

"Wait! I never told a soul about that. Are you… the stranger with the weird spell?" The elf was suddenly in front of her. He smiled warmly and noticed the vessel. Jaren couldn't speak.

He clasped her with both hands. "It is you. You have come back!" He embraced her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Feels Like Home part 2 **

_from the Heavenly Saber :If I am to be a true warrior, is it my sword that symbolizes everything? Be happy for all life passes._

_previous chapter was emotional, this one onwards is gonna be happier.  
_

* * *

She almost couldn't speak in his embrace.

"My girlfriend, Ren is away on missions," the Julatsan told her, heading to a group of men. He introduced her to the Raven.

Some had gone home, one was called Hirad his best friend, the Unknown and two mages. She was surprised by the size of the two men. She noticed that Ilkar was fairer than them all. They waited for her name. The Unknown had an imposing stare. Hirad smiled a little. She hoped for her voice to be steady, "Hello. I am a Kenresk mage. My name is Jaren." Ilkar had decided the small country was the best choice. He had not explicitly told this to her, which was astonishing. Maybe a magic spell!

Fortunately, they accepted that and talked with one another again. And she expected them to continue the journey from Ysundeneth together, but Ilkar told them he was going to stay here for a few weeks. The people here needed his help and he wished to spend more time with Rebraal. His tone was wistful.

"We will check on you when we get back! Let's go!" the barbarian carried Ilkar up in a hug, while the mage grumbled how undignified this was. Still, they laughed. So foreign, she had not felt the warmth of a close group before.

After the company left, Ilkar was free. There were some elves eating by a fire. Jaren had no need for nourishment, but it would be rude and odd to abstain. Rebraal used elven. It was too quick to follow. Besides she had turned off the translator, since she did not want knowledge of remarks about her origins. Jaren wondered if the magic pouch could make clothing. Everyone dressed similar, but she stood out.

The dried meat tasted funny. J slipped away and stared out at the river. The elf finished his food and stood behind her. "Not used to the food?" He wondered.

"I'm not hungry. It is all right. I drink water only." The woman anticipated a barrage of questions. People used to react strongly to this oddness, when she was on missions elsewhere. The curses ranged from freak to horrible names. Now Ilkar was calm and accepting.

He scooped up some water with a cup and blew on it. The red light warmed it. "The water is not clean. Usually we purify before consuming it or you'll get ill."

Jaren took a sip. Cool and smooth. He continued, "I decided to stay here, when my brother said he wished for more time. Jaren is an… unusual exotic name. We can get acquainted. How convenient."

Here they were, barely minutes of knowing each other and the mage had vouched and lied to protect her identity. Could she really open herself and feel safe?

"Okay. I would like to."

"Shy?" Those hazel sharp eyes were unflinching, missed nothing. Ilkar held out his hand.

She nodded, touching fingers. "You trust me immediately, Ilkar. Thank you."

"I got better. The antidote worked. Many elves lived on. Is there reason not to trust you?" he reflected. Rebraal made no comment. Other people cocked their heads curious but did not pry. J was actually speaking in their tongue.

* * *

The best moments were when the villagers simply greeted, then left them alone. In a way the customs were non invasive. Occasionally, Ilkar could not avoid a prolonged social visit.

He mused, "I will tell them you're my friend, from another nation. How about this, you will be my apprentice. Which town is it going to be?" Ilkar was pondering over a map.

Yes she needed an alias, some kind of profile. The country was settled, and now it would be the town. It was interesting to invent a 'family', "I have two sisters but they left when I was really young." He gazed at her sadly. "I am fine. I am alone anyway."

The mage clasped her hand tightly. Ilkar swallowed his pity. He would share his house with her. When the outdoor domestic issues were solved and the warriors protected some of them, the elf invited her to a new place. The brown medium cottage in the distance. It was a strange concept for her, she had never been in one before. Curtains billowed.

When they were walking to his house, the elf got an idea. "Shall we get started on casting? I cannot wait to share these things with a budding mage." Jaren was doubtful. She did not actually know anything. Vastly overestimated her?

This house belonged to his father and mother who had passed on. A panther guarded the entry, but Jaren had no fear. She knew its gender just by looking in its eyes and the panther purred. He noticed this_.__Is__ she __human,__instantly__ attracted__ to__ beasts,__shy __with__ us__ and__ very __cautious __indoors?_

To ensure her welfare, he repeated if she was feeling well. The woman smiled politely and waved to the surroundings. Her remark was, "This is grandeur! Fab!" The Observer's language was a myriad of ancient and modern speech.

It was Ilkar's turn not to get the meaning. He smiled and motioned for her to enter first.

A number of partitions and rooms, one up the stairs. Ilkar led her to his study on the ground floor to the right side. He wanted to look for stuff.

"Let me find the basic manuals. Most of them ought to be here. I am a Julatsan mage. Now where are they?" He hummed while rummaging through the huge shelves. Jaren chuckled.

Would their spirits linger? She hoped not, rubbing her hands. _Don't__ be __silly, __it's __been __years. __He__ must__ be__ surprised__ my__ manners__ are__ foreign__ to __the __normal __life __here. __I__ should __try __to__ blend__ in. _"What, where's that place?"

He answered, full of pride in his voice. "Julatsan is south of here, where I studied and became a full fledged mage. There are colleges, schools that teach all kinds of things. For some time, the Raven my group of friends, have been fighting to save Julatsa. I wasn't so sure I wanted to help the other colleges since their doctrine is vastly different from mine."

"Okay." Jaren was quite confused by all this news. So much had happened. A tiny voice cheered within that he had been a part of events. She contributed, indirectly by taking care of their illness. Comparing his healthy active manner, Jaren did not regret a single moment of that time. It was so much of a reward to be welcomed, though the elf mage hardly knew her. She felt dizzy gazing about, so settled down on a soft backed chair with armrests. Meanwhile, Ilkar was at the opposite side of a green desk of books closer to the large bookshelves. The walls here were blue and the halls' ones meridian green. Plant fronds peeped and poked in by the windows. Ah yes, did they have other types of magic, maybe to defend the place? In some time travels, she had seen burglar alarms, human guards with modern objects. Of course, most of them didn't belong in this era. Given his curiosity, one day she could share all that with him. The prospect was nerve tingling, shyness and thrill warred within. Jaren was reluctant to share her only friend though, he was all she had now. Guilty he may have sensed these selfish thoughts, she stopped ruminating and observed him flitting from shelf to shelf.

A number of scrolls had been found, placed on the desk. "Er, Ilks. Will that girl and Rebraal come in?" Jaren forgot that elf maiden's name, the one who almost put an arrow through her throat. Not a pleasant memory.

"What girl?" Then he exclaimed in delight. He turned to face her, pricking the pointed tips in a feline way. "Pardon?"

"I don't know her name, um she has black short hair and carries the bow."

"Ah, that would be Ren'erei, Ren for short. They are outdoor people and won't come in often. What's the matter?"

She hesitated. Frankly, Ren would be almost an enemy and besides she was his woman and they would both feel threatened by the other. The brother also had pressed his blade on her throat. Having got no headway, the elf went ahead smoothly. "I would think Ren and brother intimidate you, J? Do not feel afraid, Ren is positive and kind. We share a strong bond. I'm sure we can all talk about animals. She is an expert. My brother looks savage. I know, we're worlds apart. He didn't like it I became a mage outside of our forest home, and was always centred on guarding the temples far East…."

Details that Rebraal was also kind, would open up when he was more familiar with her.

Some kind of temple guardian…. Jaren was not happy. _I__ don't__ want__ to__ share__ you.__ It's __weird__ and__ selfish__ of __me,__but __I__ had __wanted__ that __all__ along._ "Oh. Thank you for telling me. They are certainly unique people."

Ilkar did not notice this sentiment. On the good side, he was specially eager to impart some skills at the beginner's level. Jaren followed instructions. Mana was the lifeforce of the body. It could be made into attack or defence spells. Jaren closed her eyes to find a similar thing within herself. Ilkar lowered his voice, for easier concentration. He easily demonstrated.

"Can you find it? Mine is a pale color, usually is. I'll be here," he whispered. Well, before this, the mage was already a singer, but now his voice was even more attractive, like a musical language.

"I cannot talk? It's not there," she said.

"To maintain focus. It won't happen so quickly." He laid gentle fingers on her head and incanted something. Jaren peeked out from under her lids. The youthful mage was sketching patterns in the air, frowning. Sweat slicked his face and neck.

He sighed and relaxed, floating down. Jaren gaped. He had been flying! She had never flown before.

The elf gasped in surprise as she supported his full weight easily. He backed away, dizziness overcome by that discovery. She remarked, "I have no mana. Are you alright?"

"Fine. No mana, but I felt a lot of it surging. Never mind, there is no need for haste." Generously, the Julatsan let her read all his books and scrolls. Though it was not all in common and English, Jaren could read everything perfectly. The speed she scanned the pages was phenomenal. The mage also mentally noted this. Could it be a Talent existed, not having to consciously memorize but simply absorbing them? There had been only one case in the whole of this country, and that man was already dead.

Looking up, the girl saw how deep his gaze was, dreamy and distant. She touched his sleeve. He clasped his hands together. "I am beyond, words of excitement to have an apprentice! I've always wondered what it felt to impart knowledge to someone. Very few show interest in magic. The rest of the group don't need any instruction." He joined her at the table and talked to her about concepts and diagrams.

"So, can I see that?" Ilkar probed softly. She never let it out of sight and it was always on her belt, shrinking to a small fit when she slept. The material was not glass but some durable material, metallic and the particles flowed freely. It was cylindrical but not overly so. Jaren unhooked it for him to see. The elven blues glinted, while he turned the bottle reverently.

Vaguely, Ilkar recalled the golden jeweled sands. They had frozen his friends, as he coughed up his gut and blood, and the antidote. Every moment… Ilkar laid it back on the table. "What is that? Can you talk about it?"

She smiled. "Magic sand… I can't reveal this to many people. Remember how I came?" He started describing in detail. He mistook her for a ghost or angel and truly felt like death had come to free his pain. Jaren decided she could exchange some information, as he had willingly given of his time. He solemnly promised to keep it between them. No one would overhear except if they opened the door. The walls were strong.

Hard, but not an impossible task.

"I am not from around, here . This sand allows me to control time and how fast or slow it passes. People sent me. Um when you called me Emissary it's quite true. I have to protect the Source from theft when summoned." Trailing off, Jaren was relieved and glad he did not condemn her for insanity. Ilkar simply watched her in concern. He was brimming full with questions but he held back.

Lifting her hands palm up, symbols of hourglass were exposed. Ilkar prepared a healing spell, thinking they were wounds. "No no, I'm not cut. It always been so. Don't tell anyone."

He stopped and scowled. "I promised."

Jaren touched his arm. "Rebraal, does he suspect me?"

Ilkar shook his head. "Don't be worried. My brother criticized me for joining the Raven and going to the outside world. I don't think he is angry or suspicious of you. I didn't want to stay here only. Sorry." He had begun to ramble.

"No I like to listen."

He added, mood lifting, "Elves revere any form of skills. I'm more focused on our innate abilities! I didn't want to remain here to serve as a warrior or a monk. All they do is pray to gods and sacrifice. So boring." He rolled his eyes.

She laughed. He smirked. "Why is that funny?" Ilkar found a pair of gloves for her to wear.

"Er.. that you are so honest that a holy life is boring. I have been in a kind-of religious place for a very long time. And I wasn't to speak out of turn." She said looking at the book shelves. He was silent. "Can I… talk openly here?"

"Definitely, Jaren. I don't mind at all. Some of them can be offended. Let me take over if it's difficult. Though I am not exactly a patient elf."

Yes she was happy to. Despite his sarcasm, Ilkar had a caring personality and he was attractive in that sense. But no this was not love, Jaren thought. This was… home.


	3. Where is home?

**III: Where is Home? **

The LetterBlack: Perfect

_*it is possible for girls to be jealous, though Ren'erei was not portrayed like that in the novels. Dawnthief is awesome. _

* * *

The archer, Ren did not like Jaren. She came back on the third week and glared when she noticed Jaren in the living room. "Hello! My love, just in time. Sit, let's have a nice meal together!" Ren gaped at her mate, the fast talking mage who cast spells, cooking! He was in civilian home clothes.

At the table, they ate together. Both women sat opposite each other. Ilkar did not notice the tension, ready to enjoy bonding time. When she spoke, it was not to her but **at** her, "How long is _she_ staying?" Her tone was frigid.

She swallowed her food. "I won't impose very long. I will be on my way."

Ren smiled in satisfaction.

Ilkar cut in, frowning at Ren. "As long as I am here, no friends will be neglected or asked to leave. Jaren is my friend. " His hazel stare was firm and passionate. Ren fell silent, steaming. Rebraal did not say a word. So, he didn't remember pointing a knife at her. The Sandguardian was relieved until her mind supplied the reasons. Jaren's face reddened, the Major deities had warned her that when events changed drastically, conflicts would be more intense between the parties. The brother was a minor player in the era, so he was least likely to be affected. Meaning to help him, she had also affected the people closest to him.

Ilkar changed the subject as he was the most chatty of them all. He talked about the weather, how situation had improved, people going to trade and asked if the meal was okay. "I spent quite a long time in the kitchen, with some friends' help."

His brother answered something. Within, the new girl denied her fault- _Yes,__but __I __just __could __not __let __Ilkar __die! __Not __like__ my past, never again! I can't reverse the process.  
_

The topic swung back to her again.

The mage was still speaking to Ren, his body language tensing and he did not understand. She was shouting back. The woman used curse words. "How can you fucking believe her? We've known the Raven ten years and more. Fought together. This one, less than a week, we didn't even see her before and up she pops! Are you blinded now? Love her more than me eh?"

He stopped being calm and retorted hotly. "That is not true. I am not blinded..." Rebraal shrugged.

Jaren quickly ate and went outside. Staying indoors would simply be awkward. Why couldn't Ilkar and her live together, just the two of them? No need for anybody. She shook her head. No, of course not. No matter how much he argued with the girl, Ren was and always would be his soulmate.

Ilkar had no appetite left. What a disaster! He couldn't explain to her, neither should he turn Jaren away! Bitter hurt that she'd doubt his friend and word, anger and sadness warred within. Then it subsided to resignation. Mentally , he softly hit his forehead.

_What had possessed Ren? Couldn't she take pity on this poor lonely girl? Jaren is my angel! _

"Women." His brother mused.

Ilkar smiled wryly. "And I thought humans are more emotional! When will you have one?" His brother refused. Both the males' leaf ears pricked in unison and they laughed a bit.

"Going after your girlfriend? Or shall I?" Rebraal offered. He was the only one who had finished his food. Ilkar scowled, all his cooking was gone to waste. How could he eat it all?

"No need. I believe they need space. Help me eat." Ilkar ordered him. They shared some companionable time. A little consolation.

Later night, he stepped outside, calling for Jaren.

But she was out of sight. His worry peaked. Had she run away?

Unwittingly, his telepathic voice reached the time traveller. She smiled and could read his anxious body language. She replied, _I__'__m __fine. __I __will __come __back __later._

* * *

Sure enough, the girl was back the next morning. She smiled at him, and jumped up from the chair on the other end of the room. "Good morning!" The elf replied the same. Ilkar decided he would take her to a new place. She assumed it was related to their argument, about her imposition. That did not lessen the feel of rejection though.

As they rode together, Jaren said in a stoic voice, "I am all right being alone. That has been my way."

The elf replied briskly, "What? No, I'm not sending you away… We're going to a special place. I need a break. And we can spend some time together!" She relaxed at his exuberance.

He waited a while before adding, "Look don't let what happened get to you. I didn't expect Ren to become unfriendly."

"Ilkar I'm sorry. I don't mind leaving."

"Don't worry. I trust you, even though we've not met for long. You're my friend too. Shush look! Over there!" He grinned, spotting a bird's nest. Jaren chuckled. They took turns to show the other who could spy animals better. Nature's wonders. Ilkar had great eyesight and funny commentaries, astute observations about how they nested. Soon the bitterness of the previous day had lifted. They dismounted to stretch their legs. Jaren watched him preparing a fire to make food. He could do it manually, and did not resort to spells. Then he cooked some food he had brought.

Jaren ate to accompany him. After they ate and rested, she asked him about magic. Ilkar pepped up. His most favorite topic!

Beginning with simple casting of mana to make a flame, Jaren also could hover, but for a limited amount of time. "Can I ever fly up to the tree, master?"

He laughed at this name and bowed. "Takes years of practice. Don't think about that yet. Learning is a process, to cherish. Don't be someone forcing magic and abusing powers to corrupt. Let it flow." He picked up a soft leaf and blew. "Like this leaf, magic can be bent, shaped. It is possible, even for me it is draining."

"I see. Um, how old are you?" She queried.

"Not a youth. Hope you will not mind. Sometimes I do tend to be longwinded." Ilkar said good naturedly. "And yourself? Twenty summers?"

"Um, I don't know. I have lived… many lifetimes." Jaren flushed. He was tactful enough not to press further and went on about his knowledge. How long did a mage take to train to become an expert? Hundreds of years, though a human lived a shorter span, he or she could still train regularly to reach the same standard. Ilkar might be old, but his voice and enthusiasm did not reflect the same.

"If you're interested, I don't mind sharing my knowledge….. " He talked more of mana sources, taking from plants, but not excessively, in moderation. "Different teachings give different lessons. There's Dordover, Lystern and Xetesk. I don't like the last one. Their methods are unorthodox. Such as using sacrifices to obtain energy and resurrecting the dead."

"Not really, I have seen some cultures that have blood sacrifices. I gather, Julatsa is the only way to go eh?" Jaren commented, smiling. He did not appear strict but yes, Ilkar always stood by his principles and ethics. Her eyes shone.

_No __I __don__'__t __mean __that._His eartips reddened and he cleared his throat. "An example only. I would take too much time to explain everything. It's not recommended to learn from them."

When dusk fell, he said they would stop. He needed to sleep. Of course she did not need any. He soon drifted off. Jaren reached one hand to carress a dark strand adhering to his nose.. She could almost hear her lover's voice next to her, what is for dinner today?

Ilkar did look like him, with dark hair. She was content next to this elf and the illusion of love…

Hearing that musical voice, a tad lower than Ilkar's asking her what was for dinner he couldn't move again... She had once been a male. Anxiously she had urged him to rest and rushed to find a healer. No, that elf had refused. Just a slight cold. I'm fine.

My name was... he called me:

Cerelian. Cerelian relived the regret over and over. The next day, her lover passed on. His face, so like... Ilkar's. He didn't breathe again, still and cold. _I called him, i tried! Wake up, don't leave me! I don't remember his name. _

_Come back to me! Don't go! _ Jaren cried out and in this moment she gasped, crying. She ought to have ignored his nonchalance. An image of a sharp blade pierced blood red into Cerelian's chest, and then no more.

* * *

Ilkar felt drips on his face, using his hand to ward it off. Why did it leak under a shelter? Crap! He cursed. Jaren couldn't stop, rubbing her eyes. The mage was still lying down and only roused noticing her distress. Gently, he touched her arm.

"Hey why are you sad?" He said some soothing words. Jaren's heart rippled.

She told him in snatches of faded memories. "The last day.. he- looks like you. I was called Cerelian, a male in that life. By rights I would not remember, I don't know how..."

Ilkar nodded and allowed her to cry fully. The elf pitied her. He had cheated death, and his friends had been very emotional about it too. Ilkar wished he could ease her pain more. "I won't leave you. I will take care of you, Jaren. Come let's see your smile." He coaxed. She sniffled.

He said the best thing to cheer one up was the sunrise. He had always slept past it. "Hm I need to keep warm." He used a cloak and they saw the golden glow fire across the horizon. Black turned to pale blue sky. So breathtaking! Ilkar didn't get enough sleep, so he lay down again.

"Wake me later. And kindly don't water on me."

Jaren still had to go on the missions when she was summoned. He had been looking for something inside their supplies. What a bother, she wanted every moment with him now! An instinct to disobey the rules popped up. But she didn't want to be banished to another realm.

"Sorry, I'll come back. It won't take long." She knelt and explained. He looked up, golden eyes wide.

"Oh. Will you be all right? Be careful."

"I will be. If I don't come back and supplies are down, it's ok to leave. I know my way." A Sandguardian had the natural talent of scouting. Ilkar wanted to wait. And he was sleeping on the fourth day, a little further down in a cave. It was warded from wild animals. Jaren smiled, kissing him.

"Oh about time. It was urgent?"

The mission had gone fine but someone higher than her got authoritative. The Major boss of the department assignments with a king's attitude. Jaren loathed him. He said the whole council disapproved of her attachment to the Julatsan and some serious consequences would be meted out. "Don't you hurt him! I have my duties. You have no right!" she'd attacked him with her blades. The man balked. Everyone hit its target but because they were immortals, did not die.


	4. Chapter 4

**Saving Ilkar part 4 **

_Been a pretty long hiatus, as my main focus are on other stuff. But this was my first Ilks project, so I will update! He's the best of all the Raven- smart, charming, humble as he didn't want to be promoted though he had ability, noble! _

_*Observer is the Guardian of the sands of time and she goes by several names. She is one rank lower than the deities a.k.a Gods. All Gods are my own creation, I don't want to use the normal ones, haha. **Soundtrack: Fairytail Holy Shine and watch Legend of Seeker **_

* * *

_Have a summary of what took place so far…_

**Previously: The Time guardian had averted Elfsorrow with a cure and chose to stay with them to help. Jaren had been camping with him, doubting if she could stay in Rebraal's and Ilkar's house given the high tension. As a Sand guardian, she can't forsake her duty even as she serves her mortal sentence for interference with time and events. Jaren did not want the Authority of assignments to win. **

Somewhere between the realm of Time and space, a battle unfolded.

He was a whole head taller and bulkier than the thin wiry woman. She changed form into her ethereal self and watched for weaknesses. The opponent was threatening to switch her place with the Calaian elves to another realm. No! Jaren could not allow that. In their astral language, she shouted, "Yniss granted me permission! You have no right, Milka!"

The male god laughed and shook the clouds. He brandished a baradiche, a long deadly sort of blade and swiped at Jaren. "Ah but He is not here now, I am in charge. You've gone too soft, Time guardian. Look." Milka pointed at a vision-pool beside him. It showed how some dark demons were feeding on the golden sand. "That is not to happen, yet because of delays with that fair Race _being_, some demons have managed to triumph."

Jaren blinked in disbelief, somersaulting back from another of his thrusts. She changed into a liquid form and with lightning speed, circled about Milka and scratched at what were his eyes. Gods have no fixed facial positions, so she was not guaranteed of a target. But she must try.

"I will correct that error! It is not because of the Elves or desire that I am here!"

"Liar! I have seen the Fall of angels, Observer. It is a crime to love."

"I- I don't love him! You know nothing, Ashfira!" Jaren hissed, having a forked tongue and spitting poison at him while he kept trying to untangle himself from her coils. Then she changed into mist so he couldn't hit her. The woman spirit denied that she cared for Ilkar. It was true he looked like her past lover, _and _she had interfered for the entire good of the Elves.

"Submit to me! Or I send someone to kill him!" Milka boomed, and with one of his fourth arms smacked her head. Jaren had come back to solid form and grunted from the pain. He unleashed a dark mist headed right for where Ilkar had last been seen, where she had left him! Milka had called up the location with the vision-pool, which meant he had been spying on her!

Jaren opened her Sand vessel, not much was left, and tossed it at the mist. The curse slowed down. And she placed herself between Ilkar in the pool and it. Milka roared.

"His lifethread is not to be cut! And I am his protector!" She yelled.

The curse dissolved harmlessly into her body. Jaren glared venomously. Before he could try again, a Harness rope tightened about his neck. Immediately Milka shrank to a small imp size. A high voice laughed, it was Talia'shax, another goddess. She ensured order among chaos, a graceful sexy being with wavy rainbow locks. When She chose to, her other forms were of a High Elf or a pixie. "Thank you, My lady," Jaren said, bowing down.

Talia'shax beamed, exposing perfect white canines. "You are most welcome. I walked the plains as a High Elf once. I don't like him, but I agree that we cannot be partial even with people we care about."

The Observer with violet eyes trembled but kept her gaze down. Slippered feet were in her vision and a gentle touch of Talia'shax's misty hand. They don't understand. "I will do my duties. Mistakes won't happen again, it is just—Ilkar is the incarnation of my soulmate before I died and came here. He is vulnerable. But he will contribute much to the rebuilding of the countries!" Jaren looked up without regret and steeled herself.

Talia watched her without expression. Then she nodded and slung the bottle with the imp on her hip belt. Then she vanished. Jaren teleported back to Calaius.

* * *

Ilkar had just stirred from a day of rest and sleep. "Are you hurt? Your clothing!" he gasped. She did not understand and glanced down, oh, her leather tunic was burnt in a number of places and her lip was cut. Ilkar asked what happened. How could this be happening, she had fought in the other world not here!

"I am not hurt. Do not worry, let us leave here. I sense danger."

Ilkar's ears pricked and his worries were far from eased but he started packing up. Jaren almost rushed him away from the place. "You went on a mission alone? Let me see to your wounds."

She smiled and then held him close. Ilkar found that he had no inkling what had happened, only that she had no more wounds this time. The elf blinked.

Magic to alter his memories. He chose not to talk about it. Jaren did not realize that her way of casting had no effect on the Julatsan who could defend against most telepathic magic.

"J, I won't breathe a word of this, but it's not nice to Cast a spell on me," he interjected. They were by the river and heading back to Tannepol his village. It was rather early in the evening.

"What spell?" she asked puzzled. She had not used the sand on him, for it had no effect.

Ilkar thought for a while. "That I had seen bruises but now it's gone. Isn't that your doing? I want to trust you but I'm irritated that you don't speak truly." His voice raised in octave.

"I'm sorry. I cannot tell where I went, but that I heal fast. Ilkar don't be angry." Jaren nudged her horse closer to him and tried to see his expression.

Ilkar turned to her, hazels filled with concern. He checked his voice and replied he was not. "Ren is angry with me… I have to talk to her again for she is hot tempered. I know you are not a bad person. But you cannot tell me about where you went?"

"No I am deeply sorry. I will go and not bother you." Jaren turned her horse away from their direction but Ilkar caught up and held her reins.

"That is not what I meant. Rebraal approves, and most of the villagers. I am going to make this work, apprentice. Come on." Ilkar gestured for her to follow him.

Jaren looked up at the sky. She had to ensure no harm befell him, or them!


	5. Chapter 5

**Saving Ilkar Chap 5**

_Began revising this side project again. Am thinking some people are darn rude,simply don't bother to tell me politely they won't reply anymore. _It's not as if like my OC has a mission a top secret one so she can't tell!Bridget Mendler: Ready or not (song)

* * *

When Ilkar saw his familiar home, he told her to stay behind him as he spoke to his lover in their language. Ren'erei still glared at her but made no comment. He held her shoulders and then they kissed briefly. She softened and they exchanged gentle words in elven, "I had worried for your safety. Sorry I shouted. I… I want to cook a meal, as a peace offering." The girl blinked back tears and caressed his cheeks.

Ilkar beamed. "Sure. I am not injured, just wanted to show my apprentice some scenic places. That's all, we're teacher and apprentice. I'm tired, wake me later."

Ren agreed. He was pleased that their communication had improved. Jaren still stood outside, watching unflinchingly. Ilkar held out his hand and beckoned her to come in. He knew she had not understood their language. The uncertainty was clear on her face and she seemed to prefer being outside. So the mage closed his eyes and thought, knowing she could hear him, _Everything is good now. No one is angry. I want to sleep, come in and join us_. Then he walked into his room first. Ilkar had barely slept a wink, worrying where J had gone alone. Why did she want to get into danger on her own?

Taking off his clothes, the elf took his bath.

Jaren swallowed. She had analyzed the other female's reaction, although Ren was happy to see Ilkar again, she barely glanced at her. The kind mage invited her using their shared thoughts. He had not been shocked that she could talk to him internally. How hurt and upset he sounded that she couldn't talk about her sudden departure. These vanishings would be part of life.

_There is always chaos in the world. How to make him understand? _

Ilkar was lying down on his bed, white tunic on and looked asleep when she had done the baths and changed into a dress. Previously she had spent the nights outside wandering and returned in the morning. Jaren stood in the open doorway, elven homes here have no doors, only curtains to partition the rooms. 'I am going to make this work apprentice. Don't worry, soon you'll be one of us. I shall teach you how to cast….' She smiled at his enthusiasm of welcoming her. Quietly she stepped into his room. Simply furnished, Ilkar's room was just a table, two chairs, some basic accessories, a rack for clothing and his bed. He breathed deeply, asleep on his side.

'I want this to work too, my friend. I need help to try though, for I don't know how. I never had a bond as an Observer. It just hurts too much…' Jaren sighed thinking. She was still staring into space above the same spot near his clothing and pondering what to do, when Ilkar called her. She almost thought he was her lover again.

Sitting up, the elf said, "You came in. All right? Did you eat?" He rubbed his eyes groggily.

"Oh no, I didn't. I'm thinking, um… about what happened."

Ilkar nodded, more alert now. "Yes? Why did you disappear like that? I tried to look for you, wanted to talk to you. But, you had no footprints. I couldn't follow.." His face pinched in a wounded hurt, as if someone had shot his chest with an arrow.

She _wanted _to tell him she would never be in danger. Mortals on earth will be more at risk than her. But the Rules forbade it and as she tried to explain her voice went mute. Carefully, the new girl said, "I don't. I am.. an angel, didn't you first name me that? So sometimes I have to leave, to complete… missions. The wounds you saw, were an illusion. I have no physical permanent form."

He blinked, confused. Jaren had placed a barrier around them so no one else could hear. Before he opened his mouth to speak, Ren appeared in the doorway and said it was time to eat. This time she looked at her too and tried to smile. Jaren smiled back, stealthily with some subtle handsignals behind her back, she removed the barrier of silence.

Ilkar processed what she was saying. _No physical body? But, she's real, she's flesh and blood. Yes I have noticed she does not need to eat or sleep._ Many odd and unusual things had he seen in the years passing, including dragons, prophecies, forbidden rage, forbidden castings. Jaren however surpassed them in mystery. Ren looked annoyed that she had spoken but he couldn't hear her voice at all. Jaren's face was a mask of innocence. Ilkar sensed a different sort of magic emitted from his new friend. Then just as suddenly, he could hear again. Ren was speaking loudly, "Didn't you notice me? I've been calling and now I'm thirsty. Ilkar!" She folded her arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you, coming." He got up and kissed her. "What did you cook? Smells delicious."

She beamed and told him about her efforts to find the best fish and greens for the meal. They would eat together at the main table, a short structure and kneel on the cushions. He showed his apprentice how to wash up with a common basin before eating with the fingers. Jaren nodded. Ilkar was sure to ask more questions later and her mind was more focused on coming up with answers. She had no hunger pangs.

"Ilkar I do not need to eat. I will wait outside."

He was halfway through chewing a fruit. Indeed she had always told him that, and he would insist it was not polite to leave suddenly. Ren was eating and did not care. Considering what effort she had gone to cook, he replied firmly, "I would prefer you stay here. We live together now, J. Try some food. It is strange if you stand outside now."

She blinked. He noticed how deep lavender her eyes were as she stared in silence. Ilkar began chatting with Ren about the days and matters. "What did you do on your latest mission?"

"I took care of some mages on their crossing to Balaia. Have the others sent word? Will you return to Julatsa?"

He did not answer the second question because he wanted to return to check on his college. But it was such a rare chance to bond with Brother and the natives again. After the wars, he did not wish to go through such stress again. Also, if Ilkar hoped to recruit people for rebuilding works, he did not plan on leaving so soon. _Jaren might be able to help me. I think we understand each other more, he thought. She's a fellow mage I am certain!_ Of course she had some difficulties that he could not decipher but once those were settled it would be fine.

Ren glanced at J and said in another dialect if she would go along as well to Julatsa. Ilkar shrugged. "Why not? We need every available mage to help."

"Really? She has some magic? Let me know and I will escort you Ilkar. I want you to be safe."

He smiled. "Of course, my love….." They continued talking as the Guardian tried to eat and relish the strange tastes in her mouth. She coughed when the dry stuff went down her throat. Ilkar held out a cup of liquid, apologetic. She nodded. _Eating is a tedious practice. Next time I will try to avoid it and leave._

She went into Ilkar's study, to the left of the house, not wishing to eat anymore. Idle, J glanced at the scrolls on his table but had no interest reading them. He mentally said- _we have to settle some matters and I'll come back. Wait for me, we need to talk. I don't understand… _

_All right. Be careful. _The girl scried for any dangers that would befall them. Though she did not like Ren, Ilkar would want her to be safe too. No dangers.

Later, he returned and as was his mannerism, went right to the point. "I am not all right when you rush off. I know, you have some secrets and problems." He took a deep breath and regarded her seriously. His fair complexion seemed more pallid and Ilkar seemed as if he had not slept a wink. "All right, I'm alone you can do that, J. but not when we have visitors."

"I'm sorry. I can get the summons. If I don't go,…" She couldn't speak it. Her mouth was open but no voice. She desperately tried to convey through her face.

He bit his lip. Silence. "You will be punished? By whom?"

"I cannot tell. I'm sworn to secrecy, Ilkar. I won't hurt any of you, please, trust me." Jaren took both his hands. The elf nodded without speaking. Then he went back to his room and lay down. She felt weary for the first time and also tried to get some sleep.

When the girl awoke few hours later, she noticed a note on the desk.

_I was unnecessarily worried. You know, I had a dream about how you cured me that long time ago and you are very capable indeed. I am sorry that your previous mate passed on and he looks like me eh? I am both chilled and heartened by this. Perhaps when you cast a spell you don't have awareness of the radius and who are affected. Like I couldn't hear anything and Ren was concerned about that. For now I will show you around my homeland and other islands. Then when you're used to our ways, we can head on to Julatsa. The council can help, what do you think? _

_I await your answer. Glad you've fallen asleep. I am buying some food will be back later. – Ilkar_

He wrote in their native tongue but Jaren had no problem translating it. She beamed and danced around her room. Yes yes! I want to be with you! I don't care about consequences.

*yep I Will finish this fic. Ideas aren as forthcoming as in my other present fics tho. Hehe

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